My baby is not morbidly obese. She is baby-shaped.

It is tragic that with our obsession with weight issues, even babies are now targeted.

I have been fortunate to have two babies. Neither has been sparrow-like. 

My daughter had one of those Nirvana-style underwater photos done at around three months and it looked like her hands had been stuck onto her wrists, such was the respective podginess of her hands and forearms. Her cheeks would be the envy of every hamster in the land and her bottom has enough cellulite to cause a Marie Claire reader to reach for some miracle-inducing Clarins product.

But you know what? I am pretty sure she is just ‘healthy baby’ shape. That is not to say that babies who are more like ballerinas than All Blacks players are not healthy, just that there is really no need for people to comment in a derogatory way about my baby’s weight. Yes, mother-in-law, I mean you in particular, but you are not alone (you are just the worst offender).

People make remarks like ‘Oh don’t worry-she’ll grow into herself’. Apart from making even less sense than George Bush, did I ever say I was worried? No. Do I have reason to be worried? No.

My son was a similar shape. He is now an (overly?!) active, lean and strong toddler. When he was admitted to hospital with Rotavirus as a baby, it was perhaps his reserves that kept him off a drip. Test results etc. indicated he should be on one, but because of how he presented, he was kept off. Thankfully. He did lose a lot of weight, and he lost his deliciously squidgy baby thighs. But they came back. They are no longer there and I miss them.

A friend of mine who has a very slender baby says she worries if ever he should become very ill, as he doesn’t have much in the way of ‘reserves’. I hadn’t thought about this. I guess I have never needed to for my own childen, but I see her point.

They say it is impossible to overfeed a breastfed baby and, for once (no doubt because it suits), I shall pat ‘them’ on the back. Whoever they are.

To those who think it is appropriate to comment on my baby’s size, what is your solution? Should I ensure she does more exercise, even though she cannot crawl? Should I change her breastmilk to semi-skimmed?

How about this – you leave her to be a baby. You leave her to grow into a child. And when she does, you will NOT give her a weight-related complex, whatever shape she turns out to be. To me, she is just perfect. And so should she be to you.

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